try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
