hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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