I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
