If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
This is my gift to your gina
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
