my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
