omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize