Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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