some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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