you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
