Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you didnt know i had herpes?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
