I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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