Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
