Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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