I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
