I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
