They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
