lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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