Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
