so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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