I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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