Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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