Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
