I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
