she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
bring money and cleavage
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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