shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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