VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Randomize
