It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
