epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I supernannyed him into submission
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
