Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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