you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
