i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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