I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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