Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
