Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i out mim tonsoeep
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