Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
