She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
