I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
