real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
