whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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