Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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