i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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