Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
How naked do you want me to be?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
