Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
