Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Ketchup is God's man juice
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
