It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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