Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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