Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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