I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
