My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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