A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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