Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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