what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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