Cold hands, warm shart.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
