Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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