I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize