TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
