plz talk dirty to me
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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