i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
