we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
