saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm really busy with my period
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
