I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
