Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
