i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize