Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
