He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
