is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
