I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
