one might say we're banned from that church
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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